Friday, March 29, 2013

No Place to Die Peacefully

Death sounds like the end of everything. All thoughts, aspirations, feelings everything. But there is one thing you should not expect even after death. Peace. Especially if you have spent all your life in the middle of chaos in a modern Indian city and you die there.

You must have struggled whole life to find a decent place to live. But you will also need a place to get buried. Some space in a nearby graveyard. And if you think you will get that space easily and will sleep there till the Day of Judgement, you are wrong. Even after death you are not supposed to sleep.

If you live in one of many overpopulated localities in Delhi like Jamia Nagar. Let me tell you that there is just one graveyard which is already full. Whenever a new grave is dug now a days, its found to be already occupied by someone else's bones. So people try at some other place and even there they find bones. Then after repeating several times they find a place with no bones or maybe a place with only few bones which they hide in a corner.

Modern expectations after death:

  • So even if you find a place near the boundary of the graveyard. Please expect children, from the locality next to the boundary, playing on your grave. And don't think you can scare them by making strange sounds and pretending to be a ghost from inside your grave. Now a days nobody is scared of ghosts. 

  • Please expect loud music because humans are also living nearby. And if you want you can go and dance in their functions too. You can easily mix up with ladies with excessive makeup. Just make sure to take a deep bath in mud(to look similar) if you are lying in grave for more than a decade.

  • Please do not mind if people dig your grave every few months and hit your old decaying bones with a hoe or shovel. Actually they are just trying to adjust one more person in the graveyard.

  • And please do not get annoyed if people slowly acquire the graveyard land illegally and build their house on the top of your grave. And even I expect you to repair their sewer pipes if they pass through your grave or they are nearby. Come on! You were human once.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Jamia vs Madras Match

Jamia Millia Islamia played against Madras University at Jamia Sports Complex on 27th February. And very first time after renovation of Sports Complex, Jamia students got a chance to watch a National Match which is broadcasting live on TV. Jamia has earlier hosted many Ranji Trophy matches and even Women's World Cup.

Union External Affairs Minister, Salman khurshid and Jamia VC, Najeeb Jung at the match.

Jamia Team worn green dress and Madras team was in blue. It looked as if India is playing against Pakistan. The difference was everybody supported the same team that day. Actually, In Jamia Pakistani and Indian supporters are almost equal in number. Even sometimes I feel Pakistani supporters are higher in number or maybe they are more passionate than Indian supporters. So, there is always a chance of clash. Keeping this in mind the University Administration always deploys Jamia Bulls(security guards) at hostel common rooms.

Supporter on a Tree

The stadium got fully packed even before the match begun. Hundreds of students came to cheer for their own team. Girls turned up in unexpectedly high numbers. There was separate seating space for girls. They shouted even louder than boys whenever Jamia team took wickets in last overs. Many girls got inked in green color for supporting their team. Even some of them shook a leg on their favorite song.

The entry was closed within an hour after the match begun. But as always Jamia students found a back door to enter in the event. One guy climbed a tree to support Jamia. Students had a hot exchange with security over entry inside the pavilion.

About 20 students gathered near the gate.
"Ander aake kya karoge? Wahin raho", argued the guard at the gate when students asked him to open it.

"Yahan khade hain. Ander baith kar match dekhenge. Plz open this gate", replied a student.

"Ye match dekhne ki jagah nahi hai. Chalo peeche hato yahan se.", guard shouted angrily.

"Mujhe pata hai ye Hospital Emergency Ward hai. Aur me Doctor hun. Ab to khol de gate", said a student sarcastically. 
Everybody around laughed.

"Aur ye peeche mere saath nurse bhi hain", added another student.

"Aur mujhe heart attach aa rha hai", added someone else. 
People laughed gain.

University Administration put this banner outside the venue. I think it was for controlling the crowd.

Jamia won and everyone shouted all the way till the last ball of the match. This was an easy win for Jamia. In typical Jamia Language, "Halwa match tha. Agar hamari team bayein haath se khelti to bhi jeet jaati". :)