The Wedding Question

"We are looking for a girl, for you", said my mother with her mysterious smile.
I knew they had a plan. Although my father was pretending to be completely occupied by newspaper, I knew they were waiting for my reaction.

That wasn't the first time I was dragged into such discussion. But the difference is that it used to be a question earlier. It was more of an FYI this time. I knew something has already been cooked. My earlier excuses are no more valid. The search is already on or maybe I am late to the party. It has already ended.

"For how long have you planned to remain confused?", I asked myself. I still wondered how can I so casually take such a big life changing decision. All sort of negative thoughts filled up my abnormal brain.

"Is it the right time?"
"Living with a complete stranger?"
"Is this how it works?"
"Privacy?"
"Freedom?"
"Life?" :)
"Heaven?" :)
 Many more weird things.

"We are not asking you to get married tomorrow. Even finding a nice girl takes time. Come on, be normal. This is how it works", she added very casually.

I talked to myself, "Be reasonable. You cannot run away from this any further. Bring on something concrete".
I knew all my past Google searches have made me more confused. No one in the world actually have an exact answer about my concerns. I knew this nervousness will turn out to be "very normal human behavior" later but I was not convinced by her.

And like always, I turned to Allah for help. However, I realized, I cannot expect straight answers to my silly questions from him. I knew when Islam comes into picture, I satisfy all the conditions for "nikah". These realizations made me reach the root cause. I ended up asking Allah to make my mother find someone who is best for me. I wanted to be a little specific but all I could add was "someone who takes me to heaven".

Somehow I felt better. And reluctantly I gave mummy a green signal.

It took her just a few weeks to surprise me with The Wedding Answer.

Irreversible Destruction

Photo By: ShineALight

It is so damn easy,
To fake happiness, to fool ourselves.

I sat there thinking if being happy is a sin,
Loosing control over my body.

Feelings were getting awkward,
with every passing second.

I felt too clothed among attractive,
Like a sole spectator among performers.

Music started flowing in my veins,
Heart pumped at irregular intervals.

Colorful liquids were served in transparent glasses,
and caused people to shake legs madly.

Yes, I surrendered,
not sure to devil or to my true self.

I Want More Social Pressure

Today I am not surprised to realize that I am living my life in a particular way which is very common. This is the way life have to be in my world. This is how everyone lives here in my society. My problem is that I think I am different and I should not live like this. The most obvious and immediate questions are:

• What is wrong living this way?
• What is my way of living, if there is any?

Answers:

1.

Good grades in school. Respecting parents and other elders. A Bachelor’s degree from a well known institution. A well paying job. These are the social expectations till early twenties. Your neighbors and relatives create lot of pressure on children for good grades. They destroy your teenage life by constantly asking about your percentage, admission and later placement.  After you achieve all this. Later they want you to marry a girl of your parents choice. Then you are supposed to keep earning  good amount of money and keep your family happy. Even a slight deviation from this path may attract severe criticism. I am fine till here. But what doesn't matter now a days is how you are bringing that “good amount of money” home. These ideal social characteristics can be relaxed to any extent if you are rich. Is all the pressure I faced since childhood was only for money?  There is no emphasis on being a good human. Everybody even pretends to be religious. Though no religion teaches you to be only rich. No one is ready to sacrifice. All great people were selfless and some even sacrificed their life to teach us. Today even donation is for the sake of showing off.

2.

I haven't developed any new way of living. But I just want to live like what I have read in books since childhood. Our society is full of double standards. I was made to learn so many chapters of moral,social and environmental sciences for scoring good grades. But now when its time to implement those concepts. I can easily follow the opposite path. I don’t feel any social pressure. I am not a superhero nor I am a saint. I still need those relatives and neighbors who should stop me from doing anything wrong and push me for doing good work.

Some more Questions:

• Why some people have to be poor and their life full of problems in society?
• Why not these poor and rich settle among themselves and let middle class people like me live in peace?
• I am not doing anything so why can’t I become a little more selfish and stop even thinking all this?

Romance and Realizations

After this long and tiring week, tonight I watched Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. The movie I once watched in childhood and later kept watching it in parts on TV. Everybody knows it was a blockbuster, but I felt this today after facing the magic of this movie. I think this is my age when I could give value to every scene. It really is one of the most romantic movies. Which makes me realize that there is right time and age for everything. I did not liked DDLJ in childhood that much. But its really awesome.

A Scene from DDLJ

And, Its so hot outside that you cannot think of going out on weekends in Delhi now a days. This makes it best time to watch movies at home. After spending whole week in highly Air Controlled environment in Office it is more difficult to face heat now. You can imagine how people cannot live without things which are considered luxury in society. This is one of the ways to make people slave. 

This is the end of this weekend's realizations. And the search for "Mere Khaboon Me Jo Aaaye.." begins.